hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize