you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
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After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
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I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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