Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
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I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
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All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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