Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize