ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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