all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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