so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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