I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
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