I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
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He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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