I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
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I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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