Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
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you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
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My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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