i think my tv is drunk
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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