Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
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