just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
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