im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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