i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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