Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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