We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
