people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
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Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
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Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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