Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
so let's talk penis.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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