I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
should my penis look like a turkey
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
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He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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