no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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