dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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