I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize