It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
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the gays at disneyland are vicious
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
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Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm too high and old for this...
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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