Banned from zoo.
Again?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize