So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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