I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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