I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
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