take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize