You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
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