The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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