Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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