Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize