And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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