Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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