we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize