WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
one might say we're banned from that church
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize