We're facebook friends in real life
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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