3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
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She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
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So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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