i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I just googled if crying burns calories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize