but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
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