he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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