is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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