It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
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A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
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This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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