Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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