i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
our cab driver is having phone sex.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
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I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
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we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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