end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
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Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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