He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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