a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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