I cannot find my penis.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
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This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
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I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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